Dear Deidre: MY parents are putting quite a lot of pressure on my wife and I to produce grandchildren for them.
Every time we see them or talk on the phone, they mention friends who are enjoying being grandparents and say they can’t wait. Or they bluntly announce they don’t understand why we’re keeping them waiting.
For more advice from Dear Deidre
No issue is too small, too large or too embarrassing. Read our personal replies here.
- Dear Deidre on Mental Health
- Dear Deidre on Identity
- Dear Deidre on Debt and Money
- Dear Deidre on Work
- Dear Deidre on Health and Wellbeing
- Dear Deidre on Addiction
We have been married for two years. I’m 29 and my wife is 27. We want children and have been trying since we got married but my wife has endometriosis and we haven’t been successful yet.
We have an appointment soon with a fertility expert to see if we need help.
Get in touch with Deidre
Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.
Send an email to [email protected]
You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.
My wife doesn’t want my parents to know as she wants to deal with our fertility issues privately.
But I wonder if telling them would mean they would be more understanding and put less pressure on us.
Most read in Dear Deidre
I ghosted my best friend because she lied about me and I don't want confrontation
I keep thinking about my ex-boyfriend and I am worried I will fail my degree
I am slowly finding strength to carry on with life after husband's sudden death
My friend keeps putting me down because I'm from Romford and I'm fed up
CAN'T TAKE IT
Needy and controlling mother-in-law is taking up all my husband's free time
I am scared my wife is going to run off with the local vicar – she is obsessed
DEIDRE SAYS: Your parents are well-meaning but their comments could be adding to your stress, which in turn won’t help any fertility challenges that you have.
If your wife wants your medical diagnosis to remain private it would be best to respect her wishes.
Acknowledge you can see they are very excited about the idea of being grandparents and ask them to be patient.
I’m sending you my support pack on fertility issues which explains where you can get support.