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My husband can be kind but his lifelong thieving habit and his tightness with money really bothers me


DEAR DEIDRE: MY husband steals toiletries, dressing gowns and slippers from hotel rooms whenever we go on holiday. He used to steal stationery from his workplace but stopped when I told him it was wrong.

I’m 31 and he’s 34. We’ve been married for five years. He’s kind and caring in every other way but his light-fingered habit really bothers me.

He says he will stop stealing if I ask but I worry it won’t be that easy

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He’s also tight with his money even though he has savings and has no money worries.

He goes around skips looking for stuff and if any of our friends are getting rid of their furniture he’ll take it because he says it’s saving us money.

I cannot stand his meanness, especially when he has money and won’t spend it.

He told me his uncle was a thief and he saw him stealing when he was a child.

I really want our marriage to work. I believe I can change his habits.

He told me that if his stealing upsets me he won’t nick stuff again, but can he stop so easily?

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DEIDRE SAYS: Stealing is a crime but he was no doubt influenced by his uncle at a young age. He may have also grown up in a poor family where money was scarce.

Money causes more rows between couples than most other issues but cognitive behavioural ­therapy, CBT, would be useful, as it can equip your husband with the understanding of how his thoughts and beliefs affect feelings and behaviour.



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