Louise Redknapp, 46, has candidly opened up on her heartache and struggles following her split from her husband of 19 years, Jamie Redknapp, 47. The former Eternal band member admitted she considered stepping out in front of a bus at the time and battled with dark thoughts.
Louise divulged that suicide was a real possibility for her amid her heartbreaking break-up from the football pundit in 2017.
However, she explained she only considered taking her own life for a split second, before she thought about how that decision would impact her two sons, Charley, 16, and Beau, 12.
The singer recalled: “I would be standing in Central London, watching the buses whizz past and I would wonder whether it would be easier for a bus to take me out.”
When quizzed on whether suicide was a genuine possibility for her at the time, she replied: “I think so, for a split second. I was like, ‘I would really like this all to go away.’
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“But I’ve got two little men I know need me more than anything. That’s where my selfishness stops – when it comes to them.”
She added to the Mail on Sunday’s You magazine: “I remember looking at Selfridges and the buses and being like, ‘God, I’ve got two people that need me, and they’re the loves of my life, so…’
“They’re the only thing that kept me going. Them and my mum.”
Louise also admitted she wish she’d tried to save her marriage to Jamie.
After the pair divorced, Louise has kept busy by releasing new music and appearing in the West End.
However, she admitted she has felt “mum guilt” for being away so much for work.
The mum-of-two recently thanked “hands on” former professional footballer Jamie for “picking up the pieces”.
“I’m really lucky that my mum looks after the kids when I’m not here,” she explained, while speaking to Sophie Ellis-Bextor on her Spinning Plates podcast.
“I’ve never had a nanny, just had my mum, and they’ve got a dad who’d a real hands on dad, who can pick up the pieces when I’m not here and oversee everything.”
Louise added: “Don’t get me wrong, for a while I still had that mum guilt but I think the mum guilt’s gone.
“I’m learning to not let the mum guilt embed.”
If you need to speak to someone, Samaritans are available 24/7 on 116 123.