WE’D be lying if we said raising children was an easy task but one mother has shared advice that just might help make it easier.
Posting to her TikTok account, single mother-of-three Destini Ann revealed the three things she never says to her children and what she says to them instead.
Destini Ann shared the three things she doesn’t say to her kids[/caption]
Destini Ann has labelled herself as a ‘positive parent’ and aims to help parents build strong and healthy relationships with their children.
She also focuses on positive discipline and practical tools to help kids develop.
Read on to find out her best advice.
Avoid: “I’m the adult, you’re the child.”
She also avoids saying anything like “I’m big, you’re small” and “Listen to me because I said so.”
Destini Ann said she doesn’t need to belittle her children to make sure they listen to her, saying that she’s more creative than that.
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“So instead, I’ll say something like ‘You can trust mummy, I promise I’ve got your back’,” she explained.
Avoid: “Stop crying.”
The mother-of-three said she avoids telling her children to stop crying as it is something important that both kids and adults do.
“What I will say is, ‘Oh baby, why are you crying?’ or, even better ‘oh you’re crying, what do you need?’.”
She said that while asking why your child is crying is a good option, it’s still focussing on the problem. Destini Ann prefers to ask what they need instead.
“‘What do you need?’ immediately gets us to focus on how we can solve it,” she said.
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Avoid: “Good job.”
“I try really really hard to not just say good job. Instead, I want to give them specifics reasons as to why I’m proud of them or why I think they did good,” she said.
“It shows my kids that I really am present with them and it is great for our relationship.
“So if my child brings me a picture instead of just saying, ‘oh you did a good job’ I’m going to say ‘oh my gosh, I love how you swirled the purple and the blue together. Or, ‘last time you drew one bunny, this time you drew two, that’s so cute.’”
Destini Ann explained that giving your child specifics lets them know you’re actually paying attention and are present.
Destini Ann labels herself a ‘peaceful parent’[/caption]
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