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'I just met my boyfriend's family but now the relationship could be ruined'


“So this is kind of awkward and I don’t really know how I should proceed,” Cady shared to social media platform Reddit.

“I met my boyfriend, Tom*, a couple of months ago through mutual friends,” Cady said.

“We went on a date and really, really hit it off. We have been dating ever since and things [were] going great…”

Tom’s birthday was coming up, so he asked Cady to join along on the family meal; she was super excited about the next step in their relationship, but things went awry.

“This was going to be the first time I was meeting them,” said Cady, reflecting back on the occasion.

Feeling a mixture of excitement and nervousness, Cady was hoping that the family dinner would go really well.

“We met his family at the restaurant… and I met his parents, sister and brother, [but] when his brother introduced himself to me, I realised he was someone I had a one-night stand with last year.”

Horrified, Cady blushed with embarrassment. “I’m sure my face gave everything away,” said Cady, who saw that her boyfriend’s brother also looked startled.

While the dinner itself went “fine”, and Tom beamed that his family really liked her, Cady now feels like she is in an impossible situation.

“I’m not sure if I should tell Tom that I slept with his brother,” Cady fretted. “It was definitely way before I had ever met him.”

Cady asked the Reddit community: “What do you think I should do? Tom’s brother didn’t say anything but I could tell he recognises me. Should I come clean to Tom before his brother does?”

With people flooding the comment section of Reddit, one user posted: “He will find out sooner or later. It would be better if he finds out sooner and from you than some other way later.”

Another cautioned: “If you tell him now, he might break up with you. If he finds out later, he will break up with you.”

While most people urged the poster to tell the boyfriend straight away, one person went against the grain.

“Personally, I’d rather not know. Even though they did nothing wrong, it’s going to hurt a lot because it’s two people you’re very close to.

“You can make the logical choice of deciding to get over it but it won’t be something that’s easy to forget. Contrary to what everyone else is saying, some things are better left unsaid.”

Another rebuffed: “Honesty is super important in relationships. If you care about someone then you don’t strip them of their agency via omission.”

*Names have been changed.

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