KATE Lawler has revealed that she had a secret abortion at the age of 37.
The 41-year-old Virgin Radio DJ, who has been with her partner Martin “Boj” Bojtos, 38, for eight years, recalled how the thought of having a baby made her feel physically sick.
Kate Lawler has revealed that she had a secret abortion at the age of 37[/caption]
The 41-year-old Virgin Radio DJ has daughter Noa with her partner of eight years, Martin “Boj” Bojtos[/caption]
Kate, whose daughter Noa was born in February last year, was once adamant she was never getting married or having children.
While Boj was always keen to be a father, Kate was resolute on remaining child-free and was happy being a “dog mum” to their two terriers, Baxter and Shirley.
So much so that she had an abortion after falling pregnant with their baby in 2017 at the age of 37.
Opening up about the termination for the first time during an interview for Fabulous magazine, Kate said: “Boj and I were together for a long time [when she discovered she was expecting].”
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“And I thought: ‘Surely if I’m pregnant now, and we’ve been together four years, I’ll want it? At 37, I’m never going to have a kid if I’m not ready now.’
But it just shows how far away I was from being ready.”
I felt physically sick at the thought of having to do it
The difference in my reaction when I found out that I was pregnant that day, to when I found out I was pregnant with Noa – when I was so happy and so excited and knew I was completely ready…”
She continued: “Back then I was crying because I was just so terrified at the idea of having a baby at that point in my life.”
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“I felt physically sick at the thought of having to do it. A lot of people think that my fear of pregnancy wasn’t legitimate and that I must have wanted kids.”
Kate, who admitted becoming a mother has been a total life-changer, was also scared that the decision could cost her her relationship with Boj.
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“Ultimately, I thought at that time, he would resent me for choosing to have an abortion and would want to break up with me, because he would think: ‘If it’s not now, then when is it?’
But thankfully, he is so understanding and supportive of any decision I ever make. He has just been my rock at every point,” she explained.
Despite being very early on in her pregnancy when she had the abortion and resolute that she didn’t want to go through with the pregnancy, Kate couldn’t help but feel bad about her decision.
“The guilt that comes with deciding to have an abortion,” she said. “You feel incredibly guilty when you know that some of your best friends are on fertility journeys.
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“And there are women out there who would do anything to be in your position.
“But even with the guilt, I’m a firm believer that all women should have the right to choose.”
Kate, who has released her debut book Maybe Baby, admits that now that she is a mother, she thinks back on what might have been if she had not gone through with the abortion.
“I often think about what that little embryo might have become,” she continued. “Would it have been a boy or a girl? I try not to think about it, as it makes me sad.”
“I’m not saying that if I could go back, I wouldn’t have had [the abortion], because you have to look after your own mental health.
But now that I’ve had Noa, I feel like if there ever was a time where I found out I was pregnant again, I don’t know if I could do it [have an abortion].”
Kate admitted becoming a mother has been a total life-changer. Pictured, while pregnant with daughter, Noa[/caption]