Home News Greg Gutfeld: Rolling Stone's days as a respected music magazine are over

Greg Gutfeld: Rolling Stone's days as a respected music magazine are over

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So, you know what it’s time for: “How to be a Journalist.” I’m your host Brad Pitt.

So, let’s talk about Rolling Stone, also known as “crap.”

The once-great, now pile of wet garbage published a story claiming that an Oklahoma hospital was so overwhelmed by patients overdosing on “horse dewormer medications” that actual gunshot victims were stuck outside in ambulances waiting for beds.

Meanwhile, horses full of worms had to wait outside because they weren’t wearing masks.

Now, with a story that sounds this “on the nose” – you’d assume any competent journalist would reach out to the hospitals before writing about it. After all, these modern facilities have phones, fax machines, carrier pigeons, and a brand-new thing called “e-mail.” 

Having two or more sources, verifying information before you present it as fact – oh, but where’s the fun in that? But no – this is Rolling Stone. Whose readership still hasn’t used their AOL free trial CDs. 

It’s the “Weekend at Bernie’s” version of journalism — a dead product propped up by virtue-signaling incompetents who believe instead of think. Their writing is so painful they should change their name to kidney stone.

And Stephen King has nothing on these turds when it comes to fiction, especially when they try to own the rubes.

The story was originally from Oklahoma’s KFOR-TV, quoting some doctor. But then the Northeastern Hospital System denied any patients were treated for ODs, and that this doctor hadn’t actually worked at one of the hospitals in question for months.

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I haven’t seen denial this strong since the time Elton John married a woman. 

So, there were absolutely no overdoses related to ivermectin – nor were any patients turned away due to an overload of such cases. 

Ok, but apart from those little details the story checked out just fine. At first Rolling Stone kept pushing the story.  Then it ran an update, no retraction. Then when it just got too big to bury – they ran a humiliating correction. 

But not before a pile of liberal mainstream media figures embraced their crap, spreading it all over the web. Rachel Maddow tweeted about it. And Joy Reid – who apparently still has a job -promoted the story on her show.

Joy Reid, Friday: “An emergency in one rural Oklahoma town is being overwhelmed by people overdosing on ivermectin, the horse deworming medication. It’s gotten so bad that gunshot victims, gunshot victims are having to wait to be treated.”

Great job there Joy. But maybe it’s time MSNBC got treated for worms. After all, how many times have their hosts look like a horse’s ass?

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Drew Holden compiled a list of suckers who bought this story – from Business Insider to The Guardian. Mindless dupes like Justin Baragona of the Daily Beast and Roland Martin who doesn’t know his elbow from his ascot. There was an MSNBC producer and so on. These idiots are wrong more often than Biden trying to button up his shirt.

So, what’s the lesson here?

Well, the fake story took off without anyone within that media bubble applying the brakes. Instead, they placed both their feet on the gas pedal. Why is that?

Well, first of all, the media is not our best and brightest people. Present company excluded of course. Hell, you’d find better and smarter folks in the front row of a midnight cockfight in Guam.

Especially those whose only content is clickbait designed to make their leftist consumers feel superior. And that’s what this story did. It gave their “patients” a dose of “dumb redneck therapy.” Something to chat about while Sunshine the barista screws up your latte. 

And this ain’t the first for Rolling Stone.

They were responsible for one of the most damaging hoaxes ever – a piece called “A Rape on Campus,” which described a gang rape at the University of VA – a crime that never happened. 

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They gleefully ran with it, even though the reporting had bigger holes in it than Hunter Biden’s septum.

They later retracted the story – you know, after the lives of the accused were ruined forever, UVA’s reputation was severely tarnished, and American colleges went into a full-blown panic due to a make-believe campus rape epidemic.   

You’d think they’d learn – but to learn, you’d have to suffer unpleasant consequences. Meanwhile, Rolling Stone just got a new editor in chief from all places, the Daily Beast. That’s like hiring your babysitter from death row.

It’s a bummer. I grew up idolizing Rolling Stone. When The Clash or Cheap Trick made the cover, it validated my life – cuz those were my bands. I tolerated their editors’ commie leftism, cuz I loved the music.

Now it’s a mess.  Rolling Stone is to journalism as barfing into an air conditioner is to air conditioner repair.

But maybe they always sucked and I didn’t know it. 

After all, Rolling Stone magazine panned Led Zeppelin’s first two albums, Jimi Hendrix’s first album, Black Sabbath’s first album, Nirvana’s Nevermind, Neil Young’s Harvest, The Rolling Stones’ Exiles on Main Street – need I go on? 

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Why isn’t this magazine locked up in Gitmo where it belongs? But perhaps they should stop doing music altogether and stick to politically owning the rubes.

Here’s some covers – Transgender raccoon families: theybies or rabies? Why you should never trust White people (except for us because we liked Tracy Chapman). 800-pound man dies at hot dog eating contest – Covid suspected. Top 500 songs of all time. Number one:  My Humps by Black-Eyed Peas. Actor Tom Hanks has temporarily passed away. Why aren’t they called African American Sabbath? Dewey defeats Truman.

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Just embrace it, Rolling Stone. Because your past role as a respected music magazine is over. 

You may be a Rolling Stone, but your grave has been gathering moss for years. 

This article is adapted from Greg Gutfeld’s opening monologue on the September 7, 2021 edition of “Gutfeld!”

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